How Phil Got Injured
by xXHaruXiaOTPXx
Summary: We know that Phil ended up in the hospital, but they never told us how he got there.


Disclaimer: I don't own the Hangover.

Enjoy

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"Oh ho ho. What have we here?" Phil had just managed to pop open the trunk in hopes of finding more rope to tie Allen to the roof of the cop car. Now that they had the tiger in the backseat there wasn't enough room for all four of them. But instead of finding rope…

"What the fuck!?" Stu leaned over the trunk of the police car to catch a gander at the goodies that lay inside."This cop car is loaded with police shit."

"Dude! A fucking bullet proof vest!" Phil grabbed it and put it up to his chest. "Oh shit, it's fucking heavy."

He pulled apart the Velcro and slid the vest over his head. "How do I look?

"You look like Detective Stabler from CSI: SVU" responded Doug.

"Why is there a cop show about cars?" asked Allen as he rifled through emergency flares and flashlights.

"It's SVU no SUV, stupid." Phil formed his hands into guns and began to stealthily move around the cop car, imagining a steak out between him and an armed enemy. "Do you think it actually works?"

"Wow." Allen pulled out one of the largest and heaviest shotguns he'd ever seen.

"Don't let the tiger see that. He might have to get medieval on your ass." Stu stumbled forward to try to take the gun from Allen, but he only managed to fall flat on his face. The alcohol and the blood loss was starting to get to him.

"Do you guys know what this is? It's an aluminum framed 12 gauge supermagnum. This thing could take down a rino."

"A rino eh?" Phil rubbed his chin as he contemplated breaking into the Las Vegas Zoo.

"Dude! You ever think that maybe the tiger had a rino friend?" Doug tapped on the window to get the tigers attention. He received a growl in reply.

"Jesus, you're so insensitive." Stu rolled over onto his back, his legs didn't seem to understand the standing up command.

"Hey guys! Look at this!" Forgetting about the Tiger and it's state of friendlessness, Doug pulled out two emergency light sticks from the trunk. He butted the two ends together and began waving them around like a giant lightsaber. "Luke, I am your father."

"That's from Episode XI: Return of the Jedi. Darth Maul was in Episode I: The Phantom Menace." Allen was a Star Wars buff. He hated it when latecomers to the bandwagon acted like they knew everything.

"So? I'm sure there were other guys with double ended light sabers."

"Cut that nerd shit out! And somebody shoot me already!" Phil was on the top of the car waving his arms around to get the guys attention.

"Where are we gonna get a gun to shoot you with?" Allen asked outloud.

"You're holding one you retard." Stu had finally managed to become vertical but needed the cop car to maintain balance.

"I'm not a re-tard!"

"Somebody fucking shot me!" shouted Phil as he jumped up and down on the roof of the cop car.

"If anyone's going to be Sean Connery from LXG it's gonna be me." Doug tried to pull the gun out from Allen's grip, but he wouldn't let it go.

"Sean Connery wasn't even a character!"

"Just take the fucking shot." Phil was starting to get irritated. If someone didn't shoot him in the next five seconds he was going to do it himself.

Allen shoved Doug away from him and took aim. The gun was a little too bulky for his stout frame. He squeezed the trigger…

BAM!

"Whoa that was trippy." Allen sat up, the blast from the shotgun had knocked him to the ground.

"You fell over!?" Stu laughed at Allen's lack of manliness.

"Phil! He fell off the cop car!" Doug drunkenly made his way around the car, closely followed by Stu and Allen, to find Phil on his back beside the passenger's rear tire. "Phil? Hey Phil?" He nudged him with his foot.

" You shot Phil!" Stu feel to his knees and began to vigorously shake Phil.

"He told me to!" Allen looked like he was about to cry.

"You killed him!"

"I did not! It was an accident."

"How's Phil supposed to go to work now?"Stu was in Allen's face now, he was being to freak out.

"I dunno."

"Who's going to pay the fourth share for our fucking villa!?"

"I DON'T KNOW!"

Groan

"Guys, I think we should get him to a hospital." Doug lifted his best friend up and leaned him against the trunk of the car.

"And how do you propose we do that? There's a fucking tiger in the back seat!" Stu began to weave slightly as he tried his best to maintain the level of anger he had towards Allen at the moment.

"How 'bout we tie him to the roof instead of Allen, like we planned?"

"There's no rope." Stu folded his arms across his chest. He had decided that situation was hopeless and was not in the mood to be convinced otherwise.

"I, uh, saw some of those plastic ties that police sometimes use in replace of handcuffs," Allen offered. He was still clutching the shotgun to his chest.

Doug and Stu exchanged looks. "You know, that might actually work."

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Author's Note: They showed us a picture of Phil in the hospital and the Doctor told us about his injuries, but no one ever explained how it happened. I think something like this happened.

Reviews are much appreciated!


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